I guess even the whole GRATITUDE swing has its push-backs.
As I was logging on to my computer recently, this headline caught my eye: "The Cure for Toxic Positivity." Too much positivity may be toxic. Could this be true?
Yes and no.
Yes--too much positivity is toxic -- when it presses down from the outside!
Timing is everything! When you throw in your well-wishing or solutions without first validating someone's feelings, they won't feel connected to you. And you'll know all right if your words are bouncing back. Just look at their eyes and body language or listen to their intonation.
Remember: You must validate their feelings, comfort them, and then help them find solutions or examine their thoughts about the issue. If they are looking for the silver-lining at some point, help them to find it.
Learn how to validate someone's feelings and help comfort them when they are confused or hurting. Be perceptive. It could be that your friend or loved one just needs you to listen without saying many words at all.
Maturity comes when you discover the ability to demonstrate empathy and the courage to really hurt alongside someone else. It's hard!
No--too much positivity is not toxic -- when it comes from within.
Gratitude is more than positivity - it's a mind style that directs how you view your circumstances. Gratitude is an internal attitude that bubbles up in our thoughts and minds repeatedly during the day, no matter the trial or level of discomfort.
We've trained ourselves to trust God--all chips in. Our gratitude is a reaffirmation of His goodness (not the goodness of our pain).
If you desire lasting validation, go to God's Word and read the Psalms or ponder Christ's death and what this means to humankind.
If you want lasting comfort, seek His Spirit. He is the Ultimate Counselor. Do you know what this means?
And if you want solutions or if you need help, ask Him. Pray to Him and pour your heart out to Him. Find healing and answers as you abide in Him.
Feeling grateful and expressing gratitude helps me to realign and readjust my perspective as I do life. The gratitude mindset is not situational or conditional, but rather is a natural demonstration of a life dependent upon God.
Gratitude is highly personalized and internal. In other words, I cannot give my gratitude to you. You must find it on your own.
Gratitude is a river that runs under the worst scenarios imaginable. We don't glorify the atrocity or thank God for it. Who is thankful for cancer? death? murder? disease? bitterness? rejection? No one. Of course, we may learn lessons and find something retrospectively that was helpful in our journey, but we don't say ridiculous things like: "Thank you, God, that my brother was murdered." That is NOT gratitude.
Gratitude is a conduit directly to the heart of God as He helps us through the trial. Gratitude peels back the layers on any situation to find God there, ready to validate, ready to comfort, and ready to sit with us or lead us onward when the time is right. There we can dip our hearts and minds into peace and even joy, not because of the trial, but in spite of it (James 1:2-4).
...you will find [God]
Have a comment to share? Please join the Facebook group: Start with a Grateful Heart. Or shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. I would love to hear from you!
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